One sure fire way to let the world know that you don’t have your shit together is to take all your kids to the supermarket. With all those sweets, toys and breakables to entice them, one of you is guaranteed to have a meltdown by the end of the trip!

I imagine that a trip to the supermarket strikes fear in the heart of many a parent. It is so daunting that my husband and I very rarely go together and try to stick to the one child in the store at any time rule. It is not even a place where I could say, “oh my eldest is fine, its my youngest that’s the problem”. Something about a supermarket brings out the inner demon in my children and its just a minefield with either. Luckily, our supermarket has free fruit to give to kids on the way round (honestly, I don’t just take random fruit off the shelves to shut them up) so a wee banana can usually buy us a couple of aisles peace. My mum came shopping with us today which I was glad about because I’m sure she thinks I’m exaggerating my shopping experiences but she got to witness their Jekyll and Hyde antics first-hand.

My daughter was asking for EVERYTHING in each aisle while my son was just taking it, running up and down the aisles alternating between laughing and screaming. I used to dread the looks people gave me when my kids ran riot but generally people laugh and say consoling things like, “kids are wild aren’t they?” which eases the embarrassment. On our last full family outing, my son threw a tub of tomato soup all over the floor which the staff were understandably none to pleased about. This time, however, they just played sword fights with the wrapping paper before he had a meltdown and almost literally melted all over the shop floor. There is no feeling like dragging your child round a store by his two hands like a sack of potatoes while he makes his body appear as if he has no bones and screams, “no, no, no” to make you feel more like a child snatcher. We made our way to the checkout where our cashier was called Patience, which was ironically what I was lacking most in this trip. She told my daughter she had a lovely smile, my mum bought them doughnuts and we ended our visit on a high note.